Through a rapist's eyes!
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker, either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it. Go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ...
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go "hmm I must remember that" After reading, forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS, LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be hiding at the passenger side, peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. (DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB). b. If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. c. Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well.
Paste and send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better safe than sorry.
You are charming and articulate and enjoy many varieties of human experience. You are extremely sociable and find it very difficult to settle down in personal relationships. You adapt easily to different types of people and thoroughly enjoy them because of their distinctive temperaments. You are generally on the go and if you had the means, you would probably spend a great deal of time traveling.
You enjoy life despite any temporary complications you may encounter. You are optimistic by nature and ease out of contact with people who indulge in pessimism. You always have time to communicate with anyone who has something to say, even if it isn’t profound. You round out your interesting life-style with art, literature, music and friends of which you have many.
You are impatient with coarseness of behavior on those with a perverse sense of humor. Your beneficence is improved by your appreciation of nonmaterial interests. You become impatient with persons who are preoccupied with money as the most important element in their lives. You deplore the limitations of such a dimensionless existence.
You would function well in public relations where you could display your affinity for meeting people and making it a pleasurable encounter. There are many avocational pursuits you can follow with remarkable success, since you are a multidimensional person to begin with. You are tolerant of individual failings, but find it difficult to accept failure in anyone, because you know there are many other ways to succeed if one fails. You might find business or industry a suitable outlet for your energies. You could get a lot done in a position of leadership, but you could function successfully in other capacities as well and command the respect of your co-workers in how you take care of your responsibilities.
You must resist the tendency to be too casual when it is time to be serious. You sometimes don’t know when it is time to play and when it is time to work.
INTERPRETATION OF BIRTHCHART
Ascendant in Virgo. If Virgo is in the ascendant at the time of birth, the subject will want to examine situations in detail, and communicate the results. The personality tends to be well integrated, but the Virgoan disposition to worry will be exacerbated. Self-praise should be encouraged. Finding the ideal partnership should not prove difficult, but these people do have a tendency to choose the easy option.
Midheaven in Gemini. The desire to communicate will be important to those with Gemini Midheaven, and they will enjoy listening and taking part in debate. How the communication is expressed depends on the rising sign. A happy combination is Gemini Midheaven and Virgo rising, because both are ruled by Mercury. This union indicates an exceptional ability to communicate with other people.
Sun in Leo. Generous, creative, and enthusiastic, Leo individuals are often among the most popular members of society, and with their natural, loving faithfulness, among the most desirable of partners, occasionally these virtues can lead to pomposity and an imperious attitude towards others. Basic Personality. Leos have the strongest creative urge of all the Sun signs, and this must be expressed either practically, such as in gardening or dressmaking, or artistically, in painting, composing music, or writing. They are full of vitality, and any Leo unable to express his or her creativity will be frustrated and unhappy. Relationships. Leos can be surprisingly sensitive and easily hurt. Infidelity strikes not merely at their heart but at their sense of self-assurance. They are sensual and enjoy sex, but it must always be in comfortable surroundings. Adult Leos encourage talent in their children, but should beware of pushing them too hard. Leo children have sunny dispositions, but they like to organize, and parents should correct early signs of bossiness. Career. Intensely ambitious, Leos are interested in money for the comfort and beauty it can buy. They enjoy a sense of drama in their work, and a job in the theatre is a strong possibility, but so is any trade in which glamour and luxury play a part. Leisure. Leos have strong constitutions that stand up well to their frenetic lives. They enjoy exercise with an imaginative element and love rich food, but should eat sparingly.
Moon in Libra. Anyone born when the Moon was in Libra will have the ability to be a peacemaker. Tactful, sympathetic, and also naturally diplomatic and understanding, they are able to identify freely with other people and their points of view. Meeting these people, we immediately feel at ease, and may well envy their relaxed air. They have a direct, beguiling charm, and an engaging way of talking that is instantly attractive. These people will be of the greatest help in a crisis. Naturally calm, they remain above the fray, able to see situations clearly and completely. The only drawback to this placing is that it can lead to indecision and at worst weaken the character so that these subjects find it extremely difficult to resolve personal difficulties. Look for emphasis on the stronger signs in the horoscope—Capricorn or Leo, for instance—to counter this possible debility. Libra’s opposite sign is Aries, and if this sign features in the chart it may encourage a slightly aggressive tendency that can sometimes provoke the starting of an argument when one is not strictly necessary. The typical Libran cry of “but it isn’t fair!” will be heard occasionally. Libran balance and harmony are qualities that will be present in these characters, and will be useful at times of tension, when they can restore harmony with partners, friends, or colleagues.
Mercury in Leo. People with this placing tend to be dogmatic, but their organizational ability will be admirable. Excellent powers of concentration are usually apparent, but they can sometimes be unwillingly condescending. While there will be excellent powers of leadership and the useful ability to get things done, the presence of dogmatism and an imperious attitude to others will be increased by this placing of Mercury, and verbally, they tend to exaggerate.
Venus in Gemini. These flirtatious people need partners who are intellectually as well as sexually stimulating. They are reluctant to settle down but are capable of sustained devotion. They have a flair for money-making. Emotionally generous, the need for love is spiced with flirtatiousness in these Leos. Extravagance is usually matched by fiscal astuteness.
Mars in Cancer. This position of Mars powerfully influences the love life and sex life, and lovers with Mars in Cancer will be sensual and caring, instinctively knowing how to please a partner. However, there is the possibility that they will work too hard at the relationship and create a cloying atmosphere. Any project they decide to undertake that needs physical or emotional energy will be seen through the completion, though there may be physical stress and tension if Mars receives negative aspects from the Sun, Moon, or Uranus. These people can have short tempers, and in moments of anger may express themselves harshly, even cruelly. Cancer enhances the memory, therefore it will not be easy for them to forgive and forget any offence, and there may be lingering resentment which they find difficult to erase from their mid. Irrational fretting will only exacerbate their problems, and they should try to talk them through with other people. The acquisition of a home and family will be very important, and they will make every effort to support them. The best type of exercise for those with Mars in Cancer is some form of water sport—water is a symbol of the emotions and for Cancer an excellent relaxing agent.
Jupiter in Aquarius. People with this placing of Jupiter will have powerful humanitarian emotions, and will put them to practical use in helping both friends and strangers. They need to help, and have the imagination and originality to do it in a rewarding and unpatronizing way. As individuals, they are tolerant and impartial, fully sympathetic to the hardships and predicaments of others—but again, strongly practical and unsentimental. The humor of Jupiter will warm their Aquarian coolness, and it will not be difficult to become friendly with them. Their preoccupation with helping others will not deprive them of the energetic social life they so much enjoy: they will have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances who will be roped in to help with their philanthropic work. They have an exceptionally strong sense of justice, and if unfairness or prejudice arises in any situation, they are always prepared to stand up and fight it. Their sense of humor may strike others as eccentric, and sometimes distinctly unfunny, and if Jupiter is afflicted there is likely to be a total absence of tact, and sometimes stubborn intolerance—although this is usually directed at entirely proper targets. Intuition will be keen and dependable, and scientific ability, or literary or musical talent may be present.
Saturn in Scorpio. Even when the horoscope as a whole is positive, extroverted, and lively, Saturn will shed a somewhat baleful light from Scorpio. The subject will have a dark, brooding intensity, although his or her rather dour personality is usually lightened by an off-beat sense of humor. People with this position of Saturn will be purposeful and determined, with a great deal of emotional energy directed at achieving their objectives. They will also have an exceptionally shrewd business sense, and usually do very well indeed in big business or on the international money market. Hard work and a strong emotional commitment to the objective goes without saying, but Scorpio can often over-rule Saturnian caution, and then there will be a strong tendency to over-spend. People with a powerful Scorpio influence know how to enjoy themselves, and are willing to spend money on good food and wine. The position of Jupiter and Venus in a horoscope will show how strong the sybaritic tendency is likely to be. On the negative side, obsessive tendencies are all too likely, with perseverance becoming fixation and stubbornness. There can also be a somewhat cruel streak, emerging when the subject is striving for a goal and finds others standing in the way. Ruthlessness can then surface. This position of Saturn can complicate the sex life by inhibiting a full expression of desire, and making the subject feel restless and unfulfilled. In a partnership, the inner voice sometimes instigates jealous, and if this is not combated it can have a negative effect, not only on a partnership but on the subject’s own equilibrium—and sometimes on the physical well-being.
Uranus in Sagittarius. Sagittarius is a lively, dynamic placing for this sometimes rather equivocal planet—one that gives a very original slant to the intellect and opens up the mind. There will be a strong Sagittarian need for challenge that is complemented by an attraction to all new and original things. These individuals are often attracted towards the most up-to-date developments in technology. It will not be surprising to find Uranus in Sagittarius in the horoscopes of those particularly concerned with ecology and the problems of the environment. Working in this field will enable these individuals to express their originality and mental vigor. Both intellectually and physically adventurous, they will be quick to use their talents in the most positive way, possibly employing science to prevent future ecological disasters. Their approach to the problems of the Earth will be very different from those with Uranus in Scorpio: they are unlikely to possess the latter’s tendency towards negative thinking, and provided they are encouraged as children to recognize the beauty of the Earth, they will grow up with a deeply protective attitude towards it. These traits should be strongly pronounced and highly powerful if Sagittarius is prominent or if Uranus is personalized in the birth chart.
Pluto in Scorpio. Pluto is at home in this sign and works energetically from here, so one might expect strong symbols of change to emerge from this placing. Lessons are always learned the hard way through Pluto, and this has been a time in which the world has been forced to take stock of food and fuel. Also during this period, the financial implications of Pluto in its own sign have made themselves felt. The desire to make more money and the increasing expansion of world markets are inspired by this planet. This is a time when people born with Neptune in Scorpio in their charts (1956 to 1970-71), are making their presence felt as they climb to important positions of power and influence—in politics and financial institutions, as well as less obvious fields such as fashion and music. Pluto’s entry into Scorpio has had a powerful effect on the people of this generation, and this is reflected in the preponderance of the Scorpionic color black in the fashions of the 1980s and the emergence of heavy rock music during this time. On a personal level, Pluto can bring great intensity and a sense of purpose to individuals from Scorpio, but if the planet receives negative aspects from the Sun, Moon, or ruling planet, it can precipitate psychological problems that must be resolved if the individual is to develop his or her potential. These energies will be stronger and more useful if the Sun, Moon, or Ascendant is also in Scorpio, but they will need to be carefully channeled if they are not to be wasted. If Pluto is conjunct the Midheaven or in the tenth house in a birth chart, this person will most likely have a considerable desire for power.
PLANETS THROUGH HOUSES
Second House. Moon. This position indicates a need for security, and the positive attitudes of the Moon (which depend on the sign of the planet it occupies) will flourish in a stable environment. Emotional happiness may be dependent on a comfortable financial situation. If money is short, these individuals are thrown into a state of anxiety, imagining poverty and hardships. A practical influence elsewhere in the horoscope will counter this tendency to worry about money.
Third House. Pluto. Pluto counsels secrecy while the third house encourages candor, and as a result these people may be torn between openness and silence. They will stop, look, and listen before committing themselves to anything, and while they may appear to be totally unaware of what is going on around them, in fact they will be busily amassing information for later use. These individuals tend to be sensible and practical, particularly good at laying sound, long-term plans. Due to the influence of Saturn, they excel when it comes to concentrated mental effort. From this house, Saturn often shows its effect early in the life of the subjects, who may dislike school and be very miserable there, yet will still manage to succeed against all the odds. This is a prime example of Saturn working in its usual dour way, granting success only after hardship. These people may blame their lack of success on poor education or unjust employers. Uranus. Although they are likely to have original and inventive minds combined with a fertile imagination, these people tend to make erratic progress both at school and work, for they find all forms of discipline different to tolerate. If Uranus is positively aspected, they will be cool-headed and logical. However, if the planet occupies a fixed sign or is negatively aspected, these people may be willfully contrary and stubborn, a trait they must work hard to overcome.
Fourth House.
Fifth House. Jupiter. Jupiter offers optimism and enthusiasm from the fifth house. Charming and sociable, these people often possess a large circle of friends. However, they must keep their liveliness in check, lest they become too exhibitionistic. If Jupiter is squared or opposed by the Sun, the Moon, or Mars, there may be severe financial losses due to gambling. A well-aspected Saturn will provide a stabilizing influence. The subjects are good with children, and make inspiring teachers and positive, supportive parents.
Ninth House. Venus. Travel is of great important to individuals born with Venus in the ninth house. These people often marry foreigners and move away from the country of their birth. A philosophical attitude to life may be apparent, along with an innate desire to make the world a better place to live in. If the subject is motivated and energetic (depending on the position of Mars), great efforts will be made to achieve this ambition, and they may work for a charity or in the peace movement.
Eleventh House. Sun. These people have a strong sense of responsibility to the community, and possess deep-seated humanitarian instincts. They are intensely sociable and friendly, with a wide circle of friends and acquaintances. The ideal career would be charitable fund-raising which combines their two main interests—charity and socializing. The subjects have an independent streak and, despite their enjoyment of group activities, they can distance themselves from close relationships. To discover whether they may have problems in this area, look at the position of Venus and at the seventh house. Mars. Friendship is very important to these outgoing extroverts, and all the energy of Mars will be directed towards forming relationships. These individuals are lively and dynamic, bringing a sense of fun and excitement to every occasion. However, the more aggressive and argumentative side of Mars may bring a quarrelsome side to the personality. Faced with any display of suffering, they will be positive and combative, responding with action rather than sympathy. In affairs of the heart, Mars encourages detachment—independence is very important to these people. Mercury. Social intercourse will be of the greatest importance—these people simply must communicate, and will possess a very large circle of friends and acquaintances. Every spare moment is likely to be occupied by getting out and about. The subjects may find fulfillment in charity work, where their communicative skills will be useful. The Sun and Mercury live closely together, and Mercury in the eleventh house and the Sun in the twelfth may sometimes suggest a spell of peace and quiet, and the subject must remember to take this hint.
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