A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped around his neck.

Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well,” the man says, “It’s like this: I was playing a quiet round of golf with my wife when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the cows had something white on its rear end. I walked over the lifted the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it—stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.

That’s when I made my big mistake.

“What did you do?” the doctors asks.

“Well.” the man replies, “I lifted the cow’s tail and yelled to my wife: Hey, this looks like yours!”

“I don’t remember much after that!”